11 years ago today was the last time I spoke to Dave, the man I married. He made the decision to end his life that day and life as I knew it was turned upside down and inside out. Most days it feels like a lifetime ago, and on certain days it feels like it happened yesterday. It’s not something I speak a lot about as it was a time in my life I would not wish upon anyone. What kept me going was a decision made early on in the days that followed that I was too young to allow a tragedy to ruin the rest of my life. The unexpected grief path led me on a journey to explore my spirituality which led me to enjoy sacred site travels around the world that led me to today where I feel more of a sense of inner peace and purpose then I knew the day before.
I am forever grateful to my family and friends who supported me the best they knew how during those days and in the years to follow. For them and for everyone else, whether I knew you earlier or met you after, I treasure our experiences together. Reflecting back, self love, heart connections, laughter, gratitude for the simple pleasures, and a sense of service or purpose has been the best medicine for moving forward.
Being on the Earth is not always easy but it is certainly an adventure. I truly believe each person is doing the best they can given their own experiences and what they know to be true. At the end of the day I can really only be responsible for my own choices. Sure, I wish I would have done many things different. No, I do not feel responsible for others decisions. Yes, I will keep showing up because I have a lot more to contribute. I don’t necessarily fear death, what I do fear is not fully living.
Shared in memory of Dave, he was a gentle soul with a good heart, a sweet smile and a memorable laugh.
Be kind to each other. One never fully knows what battles another is facing within themselves.
Amy Love Lynn